looks to me like you made a big mistake:
Two years later, I found out through my attorney that she got a job as a teaching assistant to kids with disabilities.
This statement, which appears to vindicate your decision, should be up at the top of the article. You start off with the question of whether your decision did/didn’t work, in the end, to her ultimate benefit. This is, like it or not, the only thing that really matters. I notice most of these people are a thousand miles away from being able to even acknowledge that fact. Everyone is reacting without making any attempt whatsoever to even consider the only criteria that can actually resolve the moral implication of your actions.

But you left an ambiguity:
They tell me that their mother has changed a great deal and seems like a different person, and one, they don’t ever quite remember.
What does that mean? IS she healthier/happier? more capable/whole/independent? That’s what counts, whether i like what you did or not.